Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Ooh, chimpanzee that!

In Monkey News Today:

An individual known only as "Monkey" was today caught in the act of the attempted murder of a newcomer. Witnesses believe it was prompted by a jealous rage.

Luckily, passers by managed to rescue Mini Monkey before any serious harm was done. Mini Monkey escaped soggy and shaken, but otherwise unscathed.

Monkey has maintained a stony silence since the incident, prompting his carers to fear a repetition of the attack. Mini Monkey has therefore been relocated to a safe shelf in the kitchen. He was too shocked to speak to reporters, but seems happier now he is closer to the box of tea in which he was found - presumably a stowaway from an Indian tea plantation.

Roger, reporting for Monkey News, London.

In other news: I have so much bloody tea at home now it's frankly ridiculous. Bloomin' promotions...



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