Thursday, June 05, 2008

Welcome to Three-fail

I don't know if it is just me, with my seemingly magnetic ability to attract idiots, but I don't have much luck with customer service types.

See my post on Dell. I rest my case.

Or I would rest my case, but I'm afraid I have to shake it into wakefulness for another round, this time concerning those ever-helpful bods at 3 Mobile.

Don't worry, it's not a longwinded rant. I'm really not cross about this one. Like Ron Burgundy when Baxter eats the cheese, I'm not angry. I'm impressed. With the sheer level of idiocy.

It's a quickie. And here it is:

My phone broke. This happens. I took it to the 3 shop (one of those ones in a Superdrug, where you can't tell if they are shop assistants or muggers, you know the ones). They sent it off on a three day repair on Monday. And credit to them, it came back into the shop, all shiny and fixed, today.

Of course, when I switched it on it went mental beeping away with hundreds of voicemails and texts from lots of terribly important people trying to get hold of me (it's a social whirl being me, it really is).

And here's the thing.

One of the messages was from 3.

Telling me my phone was ready for collection.

Let's see if we can spot the flaw in their logic, shall we?



Monday, June 02, 2008

Fancy Dress Picnics - the next big thing.

So. Last year. some time after the Oranguwasp debacle but before the whole Free-60 issues. Roger and James are in a pub.

Many good ideas have been hatched in pubs. Like the underwater helicopter, the Guinness Book of Records (fact), theory of relativity. Probably.

Now, claiming its own wonky pedestal in the slightly spinning Pub Ideas Hall of Fame, we bring you:

The Fancy Dress Picnic!

Oh yes.

The thought process was simple. Fancy dress is great, yes? Picnics are brilliant, no?

You see where we're going with this one.


The rules are simple.

1. Come as your favourite animal.
2. RSVP to Roger or James with your animal. Then, that's it, that animal becomes yours. Nobody else can copy it. This does, of course, mean that the last people to reply will have to be some sort of zoophyton, but eliminates the tiresome possibility of 75 tigers and 3 dogs.

And that's it.

So. On 2nd August 2008, in broad daylight at 1pm, the momentous inaugural Fancy Dress Picnic will see Clapham Common tranformed into a riotous pageant of fur, feathers and fins as the animal kingdom descends to eat sausage rolls, play frisbee and attempt to pour beer down their throats without smudging all that carefully applied facepaint.

I'm gonna be a lemur.

James is gonna be a shark (hammerhead).

It's gonna be big.

This is the Facebook Event

Just don't come as a bloody cat.