Politics. No, really.

I've noticed we've been a little off-topic recently so I'm going to bring us back to the old school origins of R&J today with a little run in I had with some bona fide grown-ups last night.

Yesterday, I went to a pub quiz. There were a few folks I knew there, but most of the team was made up of a bunch of people I'd never met before. Now, I'd like to state at the outset that they were all very nice. But they were most definitely Grown Ups.

They were all Involved in Politics (I'm using the capital letters advisedly here, to indicate the true seriousness of this statement). The following was actually said upon introduction: "Hi, I'm X, this is Y and Z, we are all into politics. We work in politics, we watch it on TV, we read about it, we just love politics." Seriously. As a positive thing.

Possibly in reaction to my barely-disguised terror, X went on to excitedly tell us all about the 'Super Tuesday Super-All-Nighter' they had planned next week. O...k.... um, please explain. "Well", she bounced, "Super Tuesday is the day when all the States hold their first-round elections." (Are you scared yet?) "And we set up each of our TV's to pick up a different news broadcast so that we can watch coverage of each state as it happens, all night! It's SO much fun!"

"Ahh, I seeee....so it's like Eurovision but just really, really boring?"

They did not like this. Tough crowd.

Later. Mid-conversation.

X: Blah blah de blah [insert politicians name here], defected from the Tories and is now the only Labour MP to have a butler. Isn't that hilarious!!!
A [A is, I think, on my side]: I bet Gordon Brown has a butler.
X: No. No he doesn't. He has staff.
ME: I bet he doesn't either. If I was Gordo I wouldn't have a butler. I'd have a monkey. He's PM, he can have anything he wants, I'd have a monkey.

Silence.

X: Well, he has one doesn't he, Prescott.

Hilarity ensues.

ME: No, really, I'm not being satirical, I mean, he's the most powerful man in Britain. Fuck it, if it was me, I'd have a team of monkeys to do my bidding. In bellhop suits. One to open the door, one to hold my briefcase, one to polish my shoes.....

X: Ah, like the cabinet.

They nearly wet themselves.

ME: ...and the butler one would be called Pierre. It would be brilliant! And he'd smoke a little pipe and ride a tiny bicycle.

Silence.

What is wrong with this crowd??

X: So. About the mid-terms.

And we lost the quiz. All that politics but you don't watch QI, do you?

*Sigh*

Roger.