Last night Blue Planet was on telly and had lobsters on it. "Seen it" I declared...but then wondered aloud on whether I had in fact seen this particular programme or just some other one with lobsters on. After all, lobsters don't have a very varied repertoire.
This is not the story. If I left it there, I admit, this entry would be very dull.
No, next I pondered as to whether, with all the wildlife programmes out there, I would ever again watch one and go "Wow, I've never seen that animal before". The following conversation ensued:
MAN: Yeah, that can happen. I mean, I once encountered someone who'd never seen a duck billed platypus before.
ME: What, like, not even a picture? Was it a small child?
MAN: No, it was a girl I went out with.
ME: Did you get her off the sunshine bus?
MAN (slightly grumpily): No. She was very bright. She was a journalist.
ME: But she's never seen a platypus? EVERYONE knows what a platypus is.
MAN: Not her. And when I showed her a picture on the web she refused to believe it and said I'd made it up.
ME: So, what you're saying is that you went out with a girl who (whilst presumably able to perform basic functions unaided), didn't actually believe in the duck billed platypus?
There is a pause. Man looks slightly grumpy at my insulting of the intelligence of his ex. Then - and I SWEAR this is true - he comes up with the punchline...
MAN: Be fair, she was Canadian. They don't have platypuses out there.
Right, yes, because you can't move for the little furry beaked buggers in the Home Counties.
*sigh*
Roger.
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